I am in "academic mode" right now, so my answer is that the males are mirroring each other, and speaking to each other in the same way. It's more work for them to do the same with you, so they are switching to a different communication pattern. As women, I find that either we have to put in more effort to mirror what the guys are doing ( like that whole conversation about playing golf to fit in and not miss out) which leads to assimilation behaviour, or we have the "I am what I am approach (like Popeye) where we are present as ourselves, but may not be getting the full level of opportunities or engagement with the team.
The 3rd option has to be inclusion where we are meeting people where they are and including them for all of their Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve, and Talent. Yes I am quoting RuPaul... Katie, they need to see all of you, and mirror your great energy, passion, and killer laugh.
Final quote of the reply. "Fred Astaire was great, but don't forget that Ginger Rogers did everything he did, backwards … and in high heels."
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Gillian Saidman
Independent Consultant
Pointe Claire
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Original Message:
Sent: May 25, 2023 04:51 PM
From: Katie Falk
Subject: Discussion: is it in your head?
I found myself in a meeting with two male colleagues yesterday. I'm unsure if it came from the meeting we were all on, or if it was something I picked up on - I sometimes felt the way they were speaking to each other is different than they way they both spoke to me. Do you ever find yourself picking up on little things? How do you navigate those feelings or perceptions? Let's start a discussion!
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Katie Falk
Evergreen Consulting Group
Milwaukee
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